To come to an agreement in a conflict is the most reasonable behavior for parties of any argument. The best way, in this case, is to try finding a way out of a conflict together. Psichologists even build different strategies to help people in resolving the arguments.
Steps you can take to reach an agreement
- The acknowledgment of the problem. No problem in the world could be resolved if the sides are in denial. Maybe there is no universal answer to what is a way to define an agreement-question, but whatever this path is, it always starts with the acknowledgment.
- The next step is a discussion, where the task is to understand where the route of disagreement lies and how much impact it has on the business process or personal relationship.
- The following milestone is to set goals, which can help the parties come to an agreement.
- When the goals are set, the parties should determine the way to make these aims true and the possible obstacles to them.
- When the best way is chosen, all the sides should do is define the responsibilities for each participant and start the collaboration process.
The basic scheme (rather simplified one) looks quite clear.
Conflict mediation: what is the point?
Unfortunately, the practice shows, that reaching agreement is not that simple. It’s hard to think straight when emotions boil inside, or when there are too many participants.
For these complicated cases there is a mediation procedure. A third party, not involved personally and objective (CCR mediator) helps people at every stage of an argument resolution, finding the best (the most acceptable) way to make peace.
The benefits of mediation are obvious:
- It is cost-effective.
- It saves lots of time for all parties.
- It helps to save your nerves and keep the relationship O.K.or even restore them.
What if I cannot come to an agreement with another party
In some (pretty rare cases) mediation leads to no results. Moreover, rather often people wait for zero results from the very start. It is quite understandable when the situation is complicated and people are tired or blinded with emotions. They think there is no way out of their conflict. Naturally, the question frequently asked is what would happen if that much-desired agreement is not reached.
But, we must remember that there is no single answer to cover the large number of situations that can occur. We all are human and each case is unique. However, even if mediation has not worked, it will be worth it.
This facilitating model of CCR will give us a certain value that has to do with the autonomy of the participants within a mediation.
Our mediators often prefer that all participants leave without reaching a specific agreement, rather than reaching it due to pressure, that is, without being in a free and informed manner. This mediation tries to find what is most important for those participants in the conflict, this is because it is about resolving. The CCR is going to enter into that agreement, but settlement rates are not the only measure of success within the mediation model.
There are several reasons why mediation is not effective in reaching an agreement.
- The parties may need more information about that fact which is key to logging out.
- The parties may agree informally, and leave without signing any papers. The reasons for this decision could be different. Either people are absolutely O.K. with reaching an agreement orally, or this is because they are uncomfortable with papers and documents, at least during mediation.
- It may even happen that these parties reach a partial agreement, this means that some problems that are on the table will be solved.
- Another situation that we can find is that one of the participants has an interest in bringing the case to justice, it is something that can be raised.
In these cases, the participant will not be satisfied with a certain agreement that can be negotiated.
No matter the participants’ reasons for reaching an agreement, in much of the mediation, all participants will be highly informed about the underlying needs or interests, even those of other parties.
This is a very valuable result to resolve the conflict.
At the practical level, the situation that will be generated after mediation varies greatly within each case.
Certain participants, such as parents, may be required to modify certain aspects of the parenting agreement, such as the first condition of the initial agreement, then mediation will be required in court. In other times, as indifferent disputes over attorneys’ fees, the court will require us to go to mediation first, rather than to trial. There are other cases in which no type of court case has been filed, so the participants will seek the possibility of avoiding any loss of time or spending too much on the litigation. Within each situation, we will have to take different paths after that first formal mediation has ended. A first trajectory for the participants who have not reached an agreement, this means that there is nothing unusual within the mediation space. These types of mediators work hard to help all those people who need it, especially so that they communicate in a very clear and effective way with each other, even so, this has nothing to do with the possibility that they will manage to reach to the agreement later. As long as there are parties among the participants, it is possible to reach a favourable agreement for the parties.